I get so distracted.

Rather, I allow myself to get distracted.  And lately, I find myself seeking out and begging for distraction.  There are times when distraction is a relief from something more serious going on in one’s life.  There are times when a distraction is exactly what is needed to get some perspective.

And then there is this time in my life.  There are serious things going on, but those are not the inspiration for my distraction.  And, in this case, the perspective I have is what freezes me, turns me to find something else.

I can be noble and quote Marianne Williamson, a quote often mistakenly attributed to Nelson Mandela:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be!  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It’s not just in some of us: it’s in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This is noble.  And there are times it may have been true.  However, in this case, I have to be more honest than that.  The quote that truly sums up my desire for distraction is from a far less noble source:

We’re adults.  When did that happen?  And how do we make it stop?  –from the tv show Grey’s Anatomy

Though life has thrown loops, sending me into situations beyond my control, this is not that time.  This is the time of my life when I get to re-capture the “immature” notion that I have impact and control over my own life.  A notion so ingrained years ago, is coming back–and I realize I am responsible for far more than I want to admit.

And, as so many other things, when I bring these thoughts out into the open to stare at them in the light of day, I am able to move on, embrace the life I have and the ability God has given me to have an impact.  Forgetting distractions, for this moment at least, and obeying where God is asking me to go.

“…for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.  We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete.” –2 Corinthians 10:4-6

photo by unknown photographer

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