I would be terrible at poker. Or rather, I would have to change my very being to be any good at poker.

In the words of a family friend when speaking to my father years ago, “You know what’s great about Jennifer? You always know where you stand with her.”

Though I can pull off a poker face in small doses, my very being lacks one almost completely. When something is wrong or I am uncomfortable or distracted, I find that I do not look people in the eye.

The reasons are varied and many, but the physical result is the same. Non-eye-looking.

In times of discomfort, it may be that I am sharing something where I don’t want to see your reaction until I am done. It may also be that i am trying to hide something–yeah, authors are (not) so great at hiding stuff.

It’s about your face. My eyes belie whatever is going on behind them. God is challenging me to go deeper, to risk revealing some things I try to hide. Balancing the need to cherish, He urges me to make an about face…

…to make it about your face…
…and about my face…

…to be vulnerable in areas that I fiercely protect–not because it needs protecting, but because there is fear in revealing.
…to show the heart behind the words, the woman behind the actions.

If God is asking you to reveal your heart, to lift your head, and make it about the face, do it. We’ll be stumbling nervously through it together.

 

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Photo by Felix Atsoram

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