Summertime heat without air conditioning leaves me sleeping with a fan running for several months. My sleep is not bothered, but it certainly lends an different definition for quiet every night.

And then the temperature drops and the fan is not needed. The first night without it was eery. I could hear–everything. Normal sounds marked the passing of the night. The fridge running, the cars outside driving past, even a neighbor or two taking a late walk seemed unusual.

Such a normal change of seasons seemed somehow abnormal.

But more than the fan of summer is changing. A month or so ago, the Holy Spirit stood up and made Himself known as I was reading Joshua. A verse read through many times before demanded to be noticed:

“Then the land had rest from war.” –Joshua 14:14, NKJV

No more reading. No more study. Still, I have not returned to studying Joshua because that verse sits, like a flower bud in my soul, slowly unfolding as I realize what God may mean for it in my life.

Life has its challenges for everyone, I am no different. We experience times of war, times of struggle, times of heartache. And we experience joys, contentments, and moments where we feel 100% certain we are exactly where Jesus wants us to be.

Struggle marks certain areas of my life for over a decade. I put those things above God, and He, like the gracious Almighty He is, waged war against them. I cognitively knew the stakes. I held tight while also begging to be let go. And I grew tired.

There is no longer war because I chose to let Him decide. There is no longer war because Jesus battled the things that would enslave me so that I would be free. A calm I prayed for, cried for, begged for has come, and I have no idea what to do with it.

“Then the land had rest from war.”

If you need me, I will be here, meditating on the rest part, understanding the lessons that came from the war part, and mulling.

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Image by Miguel Saavedra

 

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